There is absolutely no reason to get married. In a just world, a man keeps the life he builds and his children. The woman can walk away if she wants on those terms. A man need nor should give nothing more but a commitment to care as long as she serves.
Six months should be enough to figure it out. I’d recommend one or two 7 to 9 day trips. Not ‘easy’ curated trips. Ones that have some uncertainty & stress involved. That will show you a persons character.
I did exactly that. I added one item, writing emails. We were married 16 months after meeting, online, in 1994 (chat room). We took the long trips. We were engaged 8 months after meeting. First in person date was actually at her parent's house for dinner.
The writing opened up real thoughts and communication.
So I agree with the shorter time line. But there has to be intentional events to garner clarity.
Any woman of child bearing age who waits two years is not worth marrying. Women who want to be mothers and will be good mothers are conserving their most fertile years and don’t wait around for boys to make up their minds. You’re right about the representative aspect but men need to figure out if they want to marry the real woman behind that. Honest communication might help.
I always laugh a bit when cooking, cleaning and laundry are discussed as 'beta tasks' in the discourse.
It gives of a vibe that either their mom did those things for them, or their wife. As if there never was a time when the guy cooked, cleaned and did his laundry on his own, as should be expected from a responsible, adult, established guy.
I just don't understand how you can fumble on eating healthy and tasteful food, hygiene and wearing clean clothes. But if a guy has never done it with any mastery for himself, I get why they don't establish frame around it.
There is absolutely no reason to get married. In a just world, a man keeps the life he builds and his children. The woman can walk away if she wants on those terms. A man need nor should give nothing more but a commitment to care as long as she serves.
Agree on all points except point 1.
Six months should be enough to figure it out. I’d recommend one or two 7 to 9 day trips. Not ‘easy’ curated trips. Ones that have some uncertainty & stress involved. That will show you a persons character.
I did exactly that. I added one item, writing emails. We were married 16 months after meeting, online, in 1994 (chat room). We took the long trips. We were engaged 8 months after meeting. First in person date was actually at her parent's house for dinner.
The writing opened up real thoughts and communication.
So I agree with the shorter time line. But there has to be intentional events to garner clarity.
“No One” says that.
Any woman of child bearing age who waits two years is not worth marrying. Women who want to be mothers and will be good mothers are conserving their most fertile years and don’t wait around for boys to make up their minds. You’re right about the representative aspect but men need to figure out if they want to marry the real woman behind that. Honest communication might help.
I always laugh a bit when cooking, cleaning and laundry are discussed as 'beta tasks' in the discourse.
It gives of a vibe that either their mom did those things for them, or their wife. As if there never was a time when the guy cooked, cleaned and did his laundry on his own, as should be expected from a responsible, adult, established guy.
I just don't understand how you can fumble on eating healthy and tasteful food, hygiene and wearing clean clothes. But if a guy has never done it with any mastery for himself, I get why they don't establish frame around it.